Suggestion to President; Appoint Spitzer Ambassador–to Anything.

Elliott Spitzer achieved his goal today for his new campaign to go after mortgage lenders. He landed the lead paragraph on page 1 of today’s Wall Street Journal. For a man running for Governor, that’s like winning the Trifecta. The road to Albany is paved with free advertising.

I have a better idea. Mr. Spitzer has so distinguished himself that I think the President should appoint him as Ambassador–to a small country with no political power, no natural resources, and no growth potential, where he can’t hurt anything, like France or Germany. We should stop wasting our time on small things like social security reform. This Spitzer appointment alone could increase the U.S. growth rate by 1% per year.

Even better, Ambassador to the UN. They have no power at all. In a straight-up showdown for abrasive tongues, Josh Bolten wouldn’t even get to draw his weapon.

His latest gambit (I always wanted to use that word) is brilliant, going after mortgage lenders. Everbody in America has just refinanced their house. The arithmetic of points, rates, yields, caps, floors, indexes, pre-payment penalties, and fixed/variable is utterly unintelligible. And nobody likes banks, not even bankers. This puts Mr. Spitzer about halfway between Robin Hood and Rasputin. It’s a sure winner.

Except for the economy and stock prices. Rasputin is not so good for business. For every investigation, there are a dozen quiet conversations with CEOs of companies that might be investigated, not just about lawful behavior, but also about contractual matters like the level of your prices. This is not good.

Much more important, however, is why this is happening. McCarthyism was not created by Joe McCarthy, it was created by people’s fears. He simply harvested the gains. Today people are still scared, about terrorism, about gas prices, about outsourcing, and a thousand more things. Just count the number of people who sniff your shoes and xray your pockets next time you go to the airport.

Those fears are a bigger risk to America than the terrorists. They are keeping us from living our lives. I’m going to let you in on a secret; you are going to die anyway. We need to quit whining and get back to work.

JR